Chapter Text
The day began with a heavy layer of clouds covering the sun, which weakly attempted to shine through them. I didn’t think rain was likely, but had my waterproof cloak around my shoulders just in case. I looked around and noted that no one seemed to have slept very well, for the Oathbreakers were still nearby, despite being invisible to our eyes. A faint sense of dread was present in the air, and I tried to ignore its creeping chill without much success.
“It should take us four days to arrive at Pelargir,” Aragorn said. “Barring any unforeseen circ*mstances.” Indeed, there was no time to dally or get distracted, for speed was of the essence. He turned to me, giving me a meaningful glance. “I know you will wish to aid those in the towns we pass, but you cannot.”
I smiled ruefully, “You know me too well, mellon nin.”
Even if I had wished to help, the townspeople fled from us as we passed. “The Dead! The Dead!” some shouted in fear. “The Dead are following! Alas, we are doomed!” Unfortunately the Oathbreakers had decided to make their presence visible, perhaps taking sick pleasure in seeing the fear in the eyes of those who beheld them. Although it was a good deterrent to any enemies, it also terrified the innocent Gondorians who were just trying to survive these troubling times in their villages.
We made our way south to Calembel, before continuing on towards Ethring in the Ringló Vale. We needed to skirt around the town and ford the river with some difficulty due to the gates of the town being shut against us, as the main road ran straight through it. We rested in the woods overnight, lighting bright fires to deter the large spiders which skittered through the trees. Legolas and I kept the ones that tried their luck at bay with our bows, being experienced in fighting such enemies in Mirkwood. The Dead disappeared once more, melting into the trees to blend in with the darkness.
When we awoke, I furrowed my brow in confusion. It was still dark, yet my internal clock knew it should be a little past dawn. The sky was dark with a brown tinge in the dour grey clouds, which reminded me of the strangely colored cloud layer in Angmar.
“Well, at least it feels more like home,” Corunir joked weakly, being stationed in Angmar for quite some time. Golodir frowned his way, shaking his head to deter Corunir from continuing his train of thought. Bad memories of his decades in Angmar still lingered behind the older Ranger’s eyes, and I feared they would always be there. Perhaps if we could defeat Sauron, the evil in other parts of Arda would also be thrown down. Maybe Angmar could reclaim the beauty it must have held in the distant past.
Aragorn was eyeing the skies in thought. “Sauron wishes to cloak the movements of his servants with a dawnless day. It will also surely lower the morale of any who wish to oppose him.”
“Then we must not let him succeed,” I said firmly. I turned to Aragorn and asked, “What do you think we will find when we reach Pelargir? Does the enemy fully hold it, or do the citizens still have control?”
“I do not know,” Aragorn answered honestly. “But my heart tells me the Corsairs of Umbar now dwell within. We cannot let them organize an army to sail down the river to Minas Tirith. If we can defeat them, Gondor will have one less foe to worry about.”
“What are they like?” I asked curiously. “Corsairs.” I only knew what I had heard from rumors, and was certainly no expert.
“They are what are known as pirates,” Aragorn said with a sigh. “Ruthless and greedy, they burn and pillage along the coasts as they go, destroying enemy ships with no mercy. Umbar and Gondor have been at war with one another for thousands of years, fighting over land and title, and Pelargir has been a much-contested city.”
“Are the majority of Umbarians corsairs?” I wondered.
Aragorn replied, “It is my understanding that some of the men in Umbar are a part of their Corsair navy, but I am sure they have many others who protect their more inland cities.” He frowned and added, “The peoples are under the dominion of Sauron, worshipping him as their god while using him as an excuse to cause great pain and suffering to Gondor.”
“Do you know for certain that everyone in Umbar truly wants to fight for Sauron?” I asked nonchalantly, but Candaith furrowed his brow and gave me a curious look. I wondered if Galthrod, the Dark Numenorian from Umbar who I encountered in Isengard, had told me the truth when he said his father and village did not wish to serve Sauron and only did so out of duress.
“Of course we cannot know with full certainty, but enough of them do wish to side with him that it makes them a veritable threat, and one that we must vanquish,” Aragorn replied, also giving me a searching look. “We will ride out in one hour, once Saeradan and Calenglad return from scouting the road ahead.” I tried not to squirm, and nodded in agreement before somewhat hastily turning to dig into my pack for nothing in particular.
“Looking for something?” Candaith murmured, and I nearly winced at the uneasy tone in his voice.
“Ah yes, my athelas tea leaves,” I replied lightly, thinking fast. “My muscles are tense, probably because of the constant presence of the Dead which makes it hard to relax.”
He nodded, accepting my answer, and settled down next to me as I quickly brewed a cup in my clay travel mug I carried with me, gathering hot water from a pot over one of the fires and adding a few of the precious leaves. I sighed in genuine pleasure over the fresh, calming scent. “Who knew that something the hobbits think is a weed could have such healing properties?”
Candaith huffed a laugh, “Very true, meleth.” He looked around and, seemingly satisfied with their privacy, he took my chin in his hand and turned my face towards his. “What troubles you?”
I sighed, knowing the time had come to be honest with him about what happened with Galthrod in Isengard. “I do not know how to say this without hurting you.”
“You can always be honest with me Gwin, even if you are afraid of how I will feel,” Candaith replied, moving his hand down to entwine his fingers with mine. “I will never think less of you for being truthful.”
I took a shaky breath, “I hope that is true, for I am ashamed.” He squeezed my hand and gave me a comforting smile, and it gave me the courage to continue. “Do you remember the Numenorian in Isengard?”
Candaith stiffened, a frown marring his handsome face. “Galthrod? How could I forget someone so vile? The way he treated you is something I will never forgive him for.”
“Well, I did not tell you everything about our interactions,” I whispered, turning slightly away from him and releasing his hand to wrap both of mine around my tea. After a long beat of silence, I continued, “In order to get out of Isengard, I needed to convince Galthrod to help me escape.” I swallowed thickly. “I had to offer him an incentive.”
“An incentive?” Candaith asked hesitantly. “What do you mean?”
My mind flashed back to that fateful encounter outside of Saruman’s quarters:
Pulling us into a darkened alcove, he raised a gloved hand and tucked some hair behind my ear, brushing the point; I tried not to shudder in discomfort. This was nothing like when Candaith would do it, and I wanted to squirm away from him. “A kiss, perhaps? I have never done so with an Elf before.”
Taking a shaky breath, I forced a coy smile, “I will grant it, if you would do something for me.” I was surprised at how I was able to add a sultry tone to my words, and knew it was making him more interested than he already was. I twirled a piece of his long, dark hair around a finger, and his smile widened.
“What would that be, my lady?” he breathed, leaning a little closer.
Our lips were inches apart, and I whispered, “Get me out of here. Look the other way, and come find me when I am outside of the walls of Nan Curunír. Perhaps I will repay you with more than just a kiss.”
There was a moment where neither of us moved or spoke, and I knew he was considering my words carefully. After an agonizing moment of waiting, he said, “First you must see Saruman, but then I will grant your wish.”
I had to seal this deal. “Do you promise, my lord?” I found myself brushing my fingers over the back of his neck, and was mildly alarmed at how easily this came to me. I knew he had the skill to persuade people to do things, as his words held power. I wondered how much of my actions were being influenced by him.
“I promise, the true Heir as my witness,” he whispered. “Now, allow me to do the honors.” And then his lips were on mine. There was a beat where I did not respond, and hated what I was doing. Then Galthrod was trying to deepen the kiss, and I put on a show of welcoming this advance as I kissed him back. I hoped it did not seem forced to him.
After what felt like forever, he slowly pulled back, nipping at my lip before whispering, “I look forward to more of this; you taste delicious.” His voice made me shiver in discomfort, but a smirk was on his face as he likely interpreted it the wrong way. We both straightened up, and he tucked my hand under his arm as we continued our ascent, like the encounter had never happened.
But it did, and I wanted to scrub my lips, as if that would get the memory of it to disappear.
Slowly, with much effort, I told him what happened. I could feel his emotions through our bond, and he was clearly upset. “So, that is how I was able to get out of Isengard and escape.”
Candaith remained silent, and I chanced a look at him. His eyes were stormy, but his face was blank, and I could not tell what he was thinking. “Please say something,” I said desperately.
“Was this the only time you were...doing these things with him?” he asked, his voice stilted. Clearly it was plain on my face, for he added, “What else?”
“When we were in the caves, he…well, he kissed me again, but I put a stop to it and explained everything.”
“So you told him the truth, but chose to withhold it from me?” Candaith asked, sounding hurt.
“I was afraid of how you would react,” I implored. “You must know you have my heart, fully and completely.”
“You lied to me,” he whispered, almost as if he hadn’t heard my heartfelt declaration. “Are there more secrets you are keeping from me?” Then it was as if he realized what he said and regretted it, for he took a slow breath and reached out, put my teacup on the ground, and took my hands in his.
“Candaith?” I asked hesitantly, unsure where this was going.
“I said you could be honest with me, and I would not hold it against you, and yet here I am, doing just that,” he replied with a frown. “It is unfair of me.”
“No it is not,” I countered, squeezing his calloused hands tightly. “I withheld something significant from you, and you have every right to be upset.” I sighed. “I just wanted to escape from Isengard as soon as possible in order to warn Theodred of Saruman’s plans, and did not take the time to truly think about how it would make you feel, when you found out.”
“I understand, but we should not keep secrets like this from each other,” Candaith replied. “It makes me feel as if you do not trust me to stand by you no matter what.”
“Old habits,” I muttered. “I have found it difficult to truly rely on anyone but myself for most of my life. Trusting in myself is what kept me going when I felt like I was drowning.” There was a heavy pause where we both looked at each other, and I furrowed my brow as Candaith pulled back from me and stood up. “Where are you going?”
“I…I just need a moment by myself,” Candaith said, his eyes sliding away from mine to look at the ground. “I promise I am not angry, but your words were difficult to hear nonetheless.”
“Very well,” I replied tightly, swallowing down my disappointment as he ducked back into our tent. Elladan and Elrohir gave me identical quizzical looks, and I held up a hand to forestall them from coming over. I had no desire to tell anyone else what I had done.
I jumped as a felt a hand gently squeeze my shoulder. “Galthrod was a foul man, who also held a measure of Power in his voice,” Lothrandir murmured, sitting down beside me. “I would bet his heightened abilities of persuasion and manipulation played a part in this.”
“So you heard then?” I asked dispiritedly. “I did not peg you as one who eavesdrops.”
“I am sorry Gwin, but when I heard that Dark Numenorian’s name, I couldn’t help but listen,” he said, somewhat apologetically.
“Do you think me weak, for using such methods to escape?” I asked, my voice sounding small.
“I have never and will never think you weak,” Lothrandir said firmly. “We were all desperate to escape, and Saruman was specifically targeting you. You did what you had to do to prevent the evil wizard from hurting you further, even killing you in his zeal for information.” After I remained silent in my brooding, he added, “Candaith will come around, he loves you too much to let this keep you apart.”
“I hope you are right, mellon nin,” I whispered, clasping his shoulder in thanks before he headed over to the fire.
After the unpleasant start to the day, we mounted up and continued South into Dor-en-Ernil. Candaith remained close by, but there was a palpable distance between us in every other way. It was distressing, but completely understandable. The twins kept giving me searching looks, but I ignored them as best as I could. The darkness seemed to press closer as the Dawnless Day continued, and the presence of the Oathbreakers certainly did not help alleviate this. I needed a distraction to keep me from going over our conversation repeatedly, trying to determine if I could have explained things a little better.
Luckily, or perhaps not so luckily, one presented itself to us as we turned Eastwards to Linhir. We stopped short at the sight of what were clearly Corsairs and Orcs raiding a small town, setting it on fire and chasing down the fleeing townspeople. With a rallying cry, Aragorn charged forward, and the rest of us followed in unison. The enemies turned toward us in shock, and then wide-eyed terror as the Dead revealed themselves. Unfortunately this also terrified the townspeople, and they continued running away even as we put out the fires and defeated the arsonists.
“Well, at least we tried to help them,” Corunir said dryly.
“They will return, once me move on,” Aragorn said confidently. “They have hidden among the boulders scattered through this open land.” He narrowed his eyes in thought. “I fear we will meet with a similar welcome in Linhir.”
“Can we not go around it, like with Ethring?” I asked.
Aragorn shook his head. “The river is too wide and fast to ford across, and the only way through is the city itself. Should it be shut against us, I will need to think of a way to persuade them to let us in.”
Luckily for us, the gates were unlocked as we approached…and the city quiet. It was eerie, for we had heard shouting and screaming when we were still far off, but once we arrived, no one was to be found, neither defender or attacker. Had they all fled East to Pelargir? Whatever the case may be, it provided us a safe place to spend another night. The gates were shut and barred on both sides, and the walls manned with the Dunedain to keep watch as we slept.
I found myself sitting alone in our tent, fidgeting with the blankets as I wondered what to do. Should I go seek Candaith out and implore him to join me, or give him space and let him decide what to do?
Luckily there was no need to make a decision, for a heard a soft knock on one of the wooden posts before he asked, “Gwin, are you in there?”
“Yes,” I replied softly. “You can come in, if you would like.”
After a moment, Candaith ducked inside before closing the tent flap once more. He turned to face me and slowly took my hands in his. “I hope I have not caused you too much distress. I just needed to think.”
“I am well,” I replied reflexively. “You should take all the time you need.”
“I need no more time,” Candaith insisted. “I realized you were doing what you felt you needed to do, not just for the people of Rohan but also for yourself.”
“I never meant to hurt you,” I whispered, pulling him close and tucking my head under his chin. “Please forgive me.”
“There is nothing to forgive, meleth,” he replied, rubbing small circles over my back. “You were incredibly brave in Isengard. So many times I wished I was able to save you from that wretched place, but you managed to save yourself.” He pulled away slightly to look down at me, “You outmaneuvered him to secure your release, and despite not being fond of your methods, I am glad of it.” He gently tipped up my chin and our lips met in a tender kiss.
We spent the rest of the night simply holding each other, and I finally managed to find peace in reverie for the first time in many nights. Each day we had together was a blessing, for we did not know how many we had left in such dark times. The future was murky and uncertain in many ways, but our love and commitment to each other was never clearer.
